Apologies for the late blog, the Philippines IT infrastructure is somewhat antiquated,I wasn't able to upload a blog there. I think they believe fibre still only forms part of a balanced diet!
It's 5am and my alarm sounds. It's time to head for the airport. I wave goodbye to the Chung King mansion (another completed personal mission) and head across town. I'm amazed at the size of Hong Kong airport it takes what feels like an eternity to find check in and after an hour and a half of lugging my now 16.5kg (even though I've not bought anything?) back pack I'm relieved to finally offload it. I grab a coffee and head for gate 202. Thirty minutes of walking later I arrive at the gate, my coffee now cold. This place is enormous....I must have walked two miles in the airport alone! I sit watching the planes depart feeling sorry to be leaving Hong Kong entwined with a little apprehension about the Philippines.
On landing I head for the 'white' taxi stand knowing these are safest and cheapest. I jump in and the driver greets me introducing himself as 'Benji' swiftly followed by "Are you alone?". This sentence is the one that always immediately unnerves me but I'm already aware this is a common question here. I tell him my 'husband' meets me the following day from Vietnam and discreetly slip my dress ring off and onto my 'wedding finger'. He asks "how old are you?" I reply "43", he acts surprised and begins to tell me how much younger I appear (no one EVER says I look younger than my years, well because I don't, so this only confirms to me I could be in trouble here) He asks where I'm staying and keenly suggests when my hotel stay is complete I can stay with him and his wife and passes me his number whilst still driving. "Call me if you need ANYTHING ok?" he creepily says with a wink. He begins to tell me about Cebu City advising to "be very careful here". He said he saw a woman have her earrings ripped from her ears (telling me people will think my tiny fake pearls are real), never to hold or even carry a mobile phone, wallet or cash...and finally (saving the best till last) ....that an Australian women was recently kidnapped and held for ransom. When the ransom was paid, they raped and beat her before returning her to her family. By the time I reached the hotel I'm absolutely terrified out of my wits!
I'd deliberately reduced my time in the Philippines due to similar tales from travellers i've met regarding petty crime but had also been keeping my eye on the UK government travel advice website. I read the night before the Philippines government had issued a 'state of emergency' and the UK government updated their site with a notification of recent terrorist and kidnap activity in both the 'safe' areas (Bohol and Palawan) I had intended to go. Now I'm happy to take on a few seedy Indian men in a market.....but kidnap, rape, decapitation, mugging, guns and terrorist attacks FFS SERIOUSLY...I feel like I've just climbed over the trenches straight onto the front line of a frickin' war zone!
A realisation then hits me. I was originally due to fly to Manila on 3rd May but cancelled on advice of fellow travellers. Bombings took place Manila on 6th May....I would still have been there. Whilst chances of being caught up in it are slim it would have been chaos and this thought did shake me. I have absolutely no idea what to do in this moment I Say "shiiiiiit" several times then press the 'emergency panic button' in my head and free fall into a flat spin... OMG!
I decide I need to regain some composure to obtain a way forward so decide to head out for some fresh air. As I leave I notice the hotel security are holding guns, as are the local supermarket and nearby shopping mall who also check your bags for explosive devices on entry....not quite the calming experience I was hoping for. I did consider stealing one of their tasers to use on myself, to stun me into 'getting a kin grip' though! I amble directionless browsing the shops trying to take my mind off things. I know to break away mentally for a while allows rational thinking to return. There's still that niggle of defiance in me that wants to stay and not be dictated to, I know how beautiful the Philippines are and was really looking forward to it at the start of my trip, but in truth all I really want to do right now is to book the next flight and get the *uck out of here.
I find an Italian restaurant and order a large glass of white wine (when all else fails bring out the 'big guns' alcohol). I'm shaking as I take my first sip...ahhh this is amazing after not drinking for a while but then the waitress brings out some warm ciabatta, olive oil and balsamic vinegar. I haven't had this since leaving home and I was in heaven dipping and supping for a short while, it lured me to think of home. But this is what we do, we resort to familiarity when we're in a state of dis-ease..... It's self torture and I'm not giving 'the tormentor' another inch today. I decide to stop adding to the drama by overthinking and to stick firmly to my 48 hour stay rule. I know my hotel is safe so my plan is to lie low and plot my next move.
I spend the following day researching and trawling the net for information and finally decide I'll be best situated in a tourist area 'under the radar' for the remainder of my stay (10 days). I decide to head to Panglao Island off the coast of Bohol south west of Cebu. It gives me access to nice beaches and tours so I figure safety in numbers with other tourists (not ideal and not what I wanted, but still it's a plan).
I head off later that day to the mall again for a little retail therapy. I need a couple of new tops, my wardrobe is an embarrassment and as I browse I can't help noticing this place is saturated with the old western man and Filipino bride. I'm used to seeing this combination now but I have to say I was shocked by the age gap and childlike frames of these tiny women. I felt repulsed. The psychology of the woman wanting the wealthy man and the man wanting the young flawless bride is sick (they're both as flawed as each other). Let's face it I'm no good looking spring chicken but the thought of romancing these delusional old men sickens me. Live and let live and all that, but hats off to these girls, there's not a chance I could compromise my morals by selling my soul to the devil - urghhh I'm physically shuddering whilst writing this.
Cebu City....The cramped jeepney's are the local mode of transport. I Don't like Cebu City, it has a menacing vibe, I can't wait to leave.
The impressive mall where I spend my days whilst in Cebu.
From the 9th pm - 11th May I spent 80% of my time in my room. There's nothing in Cebu city I want to see and i really dislike the vibe so I concentrate on writing. Being alone with yourself however forces you to 'look within', I analyse my emotional state and whilst I can rationalise and place a positive spin mentally on my situation, I can feel my body subconsciously is in a state of distress. I'm pushing way beyond my personal comfort zone remaining here, I'm really afraid and can physically feel it so I question why I'm doing it?
I definitely don't feel I have to do it, it's not a financial decision to stay. I don't feel I really want to stay or go anywhere in this moment it's a weird situation, I've not felt like this anywhere before? I question my responsibility to keep myself safe for others, my family, but I don't honestly feel I'm putting myself in a compromising situation. In summary my head is saying "run idiot run!" my heart is saying "think of others" but my soul is saying "you're right where you need to be right now, wait this out...don't give up".
I can see the faces reading this saying 'woh too deep' but there will be a few this will resonate with. I'm preempting negative or concerned feedback about a 'dark / depressing blog' here but be assured I'm absolutely fine, it's not written to cause concern. If you know me you'll know I can't bear pity so it's not an 'attention seek' or 'cry for help' I don't need any 'moral support' I'm just fine. It's just a personal and honest account of my experience, the rough and the smooth. It would be easy to sugar coat things and make it all wonderful but that's not a true reflection of how travelling alone is. This way allows me to look back and see what I was really feeling, the mental challenges, fears conquered and boundaries pushed which I gain personal fulfilment from.
I feel strongly about being honest in the blog, I have a routine of writing in the moment (it's all recorded in notes on my phone) and you'll probably see (as I can) my mood, emotions and perspectives change day to day, town to town and country to county. I get the most satisfaction and feel it's a more heartfelt account rather than trying to recall events later, you capture the raw emotion this way. I'm often criticised for being 'too emotional' but this journey has taught me that I'm happy with who I am, I like that I 'feel' and have 'depth'. It often feels people want me to be more 'steady state'...more 'like them'....I'm more 'manageable' that way, but I realise I can't be, and never want to be anyone other than ME! The world needs a blend of 'head' and 'heart' thinkers and i'm proud to fly my 'heart' flag.
Next day I'm on the move. I arrive at the port awaiting the 8am ferry to Tabaligon, the main port in Bohol. It's mayhem, disorganised chaos. Ahhh I feel relieved things are back to normal and the madness of South East Asia resumes. I sit observing happy to have escaped my bolt hole and be back in the outside world again.
I notice a woman leading two men both wearing tropical brightly coloured shirts and sunglasses, each has a hand on the shoulder of the person in front. I couldn't help but think of 'the blind leading the blind'....I then realise they ARE blind! (what a *it I felt) They station themselves near gate 8 exit and pull out their musical instruments and begin serenading the passengers. They created such a lovely ambiance and as they belted out 'on top of the world' (one of my favourite songs from the carpenters), the port was buzzing and spirits lifted with their tunes in the early morning sunshine.
A new adventure awaits aboard the little Ocean jet ferry!
The blind band and blind masseurs entertain the passengers
It never ceases to amaze me how each place brings about new feelings. The transfer I booked is waiting for me at the dock ....his first question "Are you alone" grrr!...but I'm having none of that today, I sit in his van quietly watching a new country reveal itself. The little island is earthy, rustic, green and bustling with people just going about their business...I like it instantly. I booked a back street hotel. Most of the resorts here are way outside of my little budget so I take a chance on 'The captains lodge and bar' which is about a fifth of the price of anything else. I'm shown to my room 'Captain Cook 2' which makes me chuckle. After a few teething problems I can feel this place is a sound choice ...I'm happy. I'm now seeing the country I'd looked forward to seeing and equilibrium is restored... all fears dissolve.
My balcony view from Captain Cook 2!
You know your going to be alright when the hotel is attentive enough to ensure their guests a safe
passage home ha ha!!
The Filipino people are really bubbly, happy and vibrant. I like them very much. I came with the impression (I guess like everyone) that the women are all stunningly beautiful, and some are...but the majority are just ordinary looking and sized...just what I would call 'normal'. There are multiple 'classes' here. The very poor scratching around in the dirt for a living, the lower class who live in bamboo shacks, the middle class who've built their own respectable family homes and the rich. The rich seems to largely consist of the foreigner building a home with a Filipino wife. These people are wanting more from life, they work hard to make things happen and are ingenious in their approach to achieve it. The Panglao Island achieves what Phuket and Langkawi were faking.... an integrated tiered community in a natural landscape blending perfectly. The Philippines had the fastest growing economy in S.E.A for the past two years so I think I'm seeing it just at the right time, before tourism completely dampens its appeal.
It is a predominantly (90%) catholic religion practised. There are slogans and bible references everywhere. All boats (say a prayer before departing), jeepneys and tricycles all have a personal word referencing 'the lord', they're quite fanatical. It bemuses me how such dedication, fascination and firm belief exist in the unseen....but this is a personal ongoing battle of mine.
The tricycle...Survivor...this has to be mine right?
They all have a religious slogan to the rear...they believe this protects them.
The beach is a bit touristy but it's undeniably stunning. My first glimpse confirms the correctness of my decision to stay. I find a little reggae bar and perch there for a celebratory drink. The young bar tender asks 'Are you alone?' ...and strikes up conversation....he's only 18, I think of Owen during our conversation. Mid conversation (and bearing in mind I've been on the beach 20 mins) a tall, dark, quite handsome German man barges his way into the bar and our conversation. He opens "Are you alone?" (Lord give me strength I'm thinking). He proceeds...."I'm Ludwig, I'm alone too, I need to find a travel companion?...Have you got any sun cream?, I've burnt my back....you might need to help me apply?" ....I nearly swallowed my tongue holding back the 'F' word. He whipped off his top in front of me and begins to liberally spread my cream all over himself and the floor. I did not know where to put myself, I was so uncomfortable. Is he seriously retarded? I'm thinking. He continued rambling ON and ON and ON...eccentric, obnoxious, arrogant, brash, irritating and stupid. Thoughts that sprung to mind .....get as far away as you can from this chump, egit, nincompoop, imbecile, prize plonker, MORON right now! He had no idea of social interactions with strangers, no sense of boundaries, in fact I think he is missing a brain....just mental. I had to leave there and then. This 'village idiot' ruined my afternoon.
My little reggae bar....they looked after me during my stay. They later told me the German was nuisance and affecting trade....they couldn't wait for him to leave! (check out the Rasta to the back of the bar, he is the local tattooist...cool!)
First glimpse of Alona Beach
Well you've got to try these things out...a much happier and settled me!
I sit on the beach each day watching the local children emerge from their tragically poor shacks waddling in a row like little ducks into the sea....they dive in, unfazed, splashing freely and naked into the perfect waters. They're care free, completely consumed in being children, disappearing under the boats hulls and reappearing the other side giggling, filling plastic bottles with water and making sand castles from paper cups. Even children as young as two are in the waters. They're always in groups and looking out for each other. It's beautiful sight and how it should be. It makes me realise how consumed the UK is with mothering and smothering our kids. The confidence these children have forms a sound foundation for a future of great promise. We sadly control and dampen this freedom of spirit creating an insecure and reliant generation.
Things took a strange twist later that afternoon when walking home I stumble on a fracas between a group of local boys about eight years old. Two boys 'square up' on a staircase down an alley. One towering over the other, their eyes fixated on each other, the anger scrawled on their pinched faces. As they now stand about 6 inches apart the taller boy launches a flurry of punches on the smaller child. His friends are on the sideline encouraging and goading his attack. The smaller boy stands alone defending himself against the flying punches. He retaliates with strategic blows in between the taller boys sequence. A Filipino group of adults nearby ignore what's going on but a foreign couple upset by the sight shout for the boys to stop. A few more punches are exchanged and the small boy stands firm on his spot but through sheer frustration tears begin to fall down his face. The opposition see this as weakness and withdraw with cackling laughter claiming and affirming victory and disappear. But they didn't see what I saw. I tend to the little boy on the steps. Tears are pumping from his eyes and no matter how much I wipe them, they keep coming. He remains in his fighting stance, in a trance like state, unresponsive, he doesn't blink, his fists remain clenched. He would not be consoled, I held his clenched fists hoping it would sooth him but nothing I did made it better. You see in this moment this lad stood completely alone in the world, in his thoughts and I believe he would have fought to the death. I could feel his energy, shattered pride but sheer and unbreakable determination. I asked where his parents were but no one seemed to care. I had to leave this boy on the steps, still poised for battle. It really upset me to witness this (bullying is every parents nightmare) but strangely I knew in the moment this was one of life's winners and he'd always be OK. Ill never forget this little lion hearts untouchable spirit....he made my heart smile.
The downside of my beach days was further witnessing the obscene age difference between the western man and local girl. This was even too much for my now acclimatised stomach. I was sitting in a beachfront bar one day as an 80 year old man and 16 year old girl float by hand in hand (no exaggeration) I have a spontaneous reaction and look back to the bar mouthing 'NO!!' I couldn't believe my bulging eyes....a man to the opposite side of the bar meets my shocked gaze, lowers his eyes and shakes his head confirming what I'd seen to be true. I think because it's less touristy these sick individuals are sadly the majority in the Philippines and as a result theres social acceptance amongst individuals of 'similar warped mentality' here. Its littered with expats...looking for a 'good time' in aptly named bars such as the 'birdwatchers'. I feel ashamed of 'my own' in this moment . I'm resigned to considering as a mother I would do absolutely EVERYTHING in my power to prevent my daughter having to lead such a pitiful existence ....it's truly disturbing to see them surrender their young years and future potential.
Here's beauty and the obese! (I shouldn't joke but well!)
I enjoy a few tours in Bohol starting with an evening 'fire fly' boat tour. This was like being at B&Q when it's closed at Christmas. I'm joking of course, I'm sure you know what I mean....twinkly lights in pitch dark. These little wonders are light sensitive so you can't film them. Firefly Facts: Light created from a chemical make up, its a signal only to find 'their mate', they live for about 4 months total...Job Done!
The fire fly tour....I was a bit scared heading into pitch darkness.
Next day I start checking off my wish list seeing the 'chocolate hills' and a general tour of Bohol. The chocolate hills are mounds formed in the ice age which turn brown - green with the seasons. They're known to look like breasts (I'm thinking once upon a time maybe!).
Butterfly farm
I'm not afraid of snakes, but was forced into holding this.
The Chocolate Hills
Bamboo hanging bridge...it didn't feel that safe but well...you only live once!
We see the shy little Tarsiers ...these creatures are rat sized but cling to the trees like kuwala bears and have huge yellow eyes (bit like me after a night out on both counts lol). Bohol is the only place in the world they exist.
Blood Compact monument: This is a ritual performed in the Philippines intended to seal a friendship / treaty or to confirm an agreement. Each member slit their wrist and let their blood poor into a single cup from which they then all drank.
Blood Compact monument: This is a ritual performed in the Philippines intended to seal a friendship / treaty or to confirm an agreement. Each member slit their wrist and let their blood poor into a single cup from which they then all drank.
Next day is a 5.30am meet and our group is ushered into a very cramped jeepney. The Chinese group of 6 are late (as usual) and have hoards of luggage which gets thrown on top of the rusting green van. I've noticed this about the Chinese, they don't know how to travel light, they are also obsessively vain....taking selfies everywhere sadly often missing the natural beauty that surrounds them.
We're led down a scruffy alley, in what feels like an estate, litter strewn everywhere and a pungent smell. I'm wondering what could possibly lie at the end and If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I wouldn't have believed it. A stunning white beach, the ocean still reflecting like a mirror, powder blue skies and boats still on the water as if they've always belonged. This perfect scene which takes some beating.
We're off in search of the whale shark, sited off the coast of Olsob (south of Cebu). There's about 25 on the boat, there's plenty of room.
On arrival we're transported via tricycle to the whale shark site.
On arrival I'm disappointed to see lots of boats. I knew before I came that the sharks are fed which retained them in the vicinity but what I wasn't made aware of they were ring fenced by a net surrounding the bay. I'd assumed wrongly they had the choice to leave. We jump from the paddle boat in snorkels and watch beneath the ocean these magnificent creatures swim just a few feet away. They're enormous, around 7 metres long, a fawny speckled colour, wide mouthed swallowing food like an ocean hoover. Anything in their path is tenderly pushed aside, they are totally harmless but they're cumbersome due to their sheer size, their tails swish around sweeping you into their path. It's a beautiful and magical site.
It cracks me up that tricycles are just a little motorbike with a huge fibreglass carcass surrounding it.They can barely get up the hills with five people inside!
On arrival I'm disappointed to see lots of boats. I knew before I came that the sharks are fed which retained them in the vicinity but what I wasn't made aware of they were ring fenced by a net surrounding the bay. I'd assumed wrongly they had the choice to leave. We jump from the paddle boat in snorkels and watch beneath the ocean these magnificent creatures swim just a few feet away. They're enormous, around 7 metres long, a fawny speckled colour, wide mouthed swallowing food like an ocean hoover. Anything in their path is tenderly pushed aside, they are totally harmless but they're cumbersome due to their sheer size, their tails swish around sweeping you into their path. It's a beautiful and magical site.
I've tried to avoid anything which exploits animals, I genuinely disagree with it. I am extremely grateful that I did see the whales but feel once again my own morals were unwittingly compromised here.
On the return journey I sit at the front of the boat my only view is the tip of the boat and nothing but the horizon. The sky is blue and the reflecting sapphire ocean with the only ripples created from the boats glide. It was a couple of hours back to Bohol, If ever there was a moment to sort through the mental clutter this was it. It's the stillest moment I've ever experienced, like the world stopped turning for a few precious hours.
I did some island hopping visiting the Balacasag island where we snorkeled and swam with sea turtles. These are graceful creatures, it's a little crazy watching them swim but there's something special in sharing their natural environment.
Balicasag Island (AKA Utopia!)
Well you didn't think I was going to complete a blog without a shot in my peach GAP tshirt did you? I know I live in it....its my fav (i'm just like shaggy from scooby do ha ha) and when this is all over I will treasure it, being the only piece of tatty clothing i'll keep.
The turtles living peacefully beneath the sea.
We also visit the Virgin Islands. This is basically a sand bar, your walking with water about a foot above your ankles in the middle of the ocean and nothing for miles around.
The Virgin Islands
I knew the beauty of the Philippines before arriving but nothing quite prepares you, no pictures do the coast line justice, it's completely out of this world.... indescribable. The beaches are stunningly unbeatable....when I first saw them the song 'somewhere over the rainbow...theres a land that I dream of' came to me and thats how i'd describe them, a land I thought only existed in dreams. There are 7,000 islands in total and I visited just five. This is the first place I have regret for, regret that I can't see more. I must return some day. There has been a change in government so theres hope safety for the tourist will gradually improve. It has to be back packed though, preferably in a pair and you need probably a couple of months, a healthy budget and be prepared to move constantly to really do the Philippines justice. Sadly with a fast growing economy I suspect the next time I see them they will be commercially very different. My parting word: If you've ever fancied visiting the Philippines ....do it....now!!
Randoms:
From what I saw I believe this to be true!
Imagine the warm feeling you'd have when you realise you've named your business, your livelihood after the most notorious terrorist group?!
I thought the Talaban had come to kidnap me as these approached the beach!
Not 'great luck' for this poor fish!
Wilson......is that you?
Next Stop: Bali...xxx
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