“To keep you is no benefit, to destroy you is no loss”

10^th March 2017

“To keep you is no benefit, to destroy you is no loss” The title is a slogan used by the Kmher Rouge, a motivational slogan to enthuse the troops and destroy victims hopes.

The Khmer Rouge ruled Cambodia from April 1975 –  January 1979 (3 years 8 months). Throughout this period they murdered hundreds of thousands of members of the previous government and regimes, including soldiers, politicians and bureaucrats, who they considered to be not "pure people". This meaning those who were fit or capable of cultivating land which they had set out to establish.

Over time this escalated to all intellectuals, professionals, members of minorities and ordinary citizens who were deemed ‘not to conform’ also being killed in a campaign to eliminate the "impure" (I don’t think I’d have lasted long here!).

All schools and educational facilities were destroyed. They intended no education, modernisation or ‘western influence’. All civil and political rights abolished.

The Kmher Rouge’s communist vision was to create a ‘classless society’ simply by eliminating all social classes, the land was to be cultivated by peasants and the country ruled by the poorest in society. Of course this hope of a better future for everyone (or bloody dangled carrot) would facilitate a maniac to feed his mentally depraved ego.

The final human loss is between 2 – 3 million. One in four of the population.

Today I visited the killing fields and Teoul Sleng (S21).

During the Khmer Rouge Reign the site was used for torturing prisoners. As paranoia and ‘everyone under suspicion’ intensified within the leadership more and more prisoners were transferred to S21 for interrogation.

S21 is a site within the city of Phnom Penh consisting of multiple, three storey buildings known simply as Block A,B,C & D. It was formerly a school. Block A still has the original class formation each containing a wooden board (used as blackboards), the cream and burnt orange tiled floors and wooden shutters to the windows all still in situ. (there are exact replicas of the building still in use as schools as you walk around the city, its eerie to see the children play).

In the centre of each classroom a single metal bed frame, a foot / hand shackle and metal box (the box was used for human waste….I hate what I think that means).

Block ‘A’ was the main torture block, victims could be held for months, weeks, days, hours for brutal interrogation which intensified over time with the intention of extracting confessions, twinned as a playground for the sick and depraved inflictor's.

Block A Torture Room

The victims were subjected to any of the following

• ·      Electrocution

• ·      Lashings

• ·      Salt poured into wounds

• ·      Fingernails extracted

• ·      Nipples ripped off

• ·      Eating excrement

• ·      Drowning

• ·      Disembowelment

• ·      amputations

• ·      Battering with blunt instruments (usually smashing open of the skull)

The rules were as follows:

They stood absolutely no chance and were expected to expose family members and sign confessions of their ‘non conformity’ to the rules. Many tried to commit suicide when all hope lost, but even this desperate man’s choice also was prevented. This led me to question what my decisions would be. Try to save yourself?...try to save your family? Would honour and integrity survive in these unbearable circumstances? If you were a ‘called up’ or 'forced' soldier could you inflict these atrocities if your’s or your families lives depended on it?

When the war ended, the soldiers were ordered to destroy all evidence. When S21 was finally discovered 14No. victims remained (dead) still chained to the beds. Photographs on the walls show the horrific and fatal injuries sustained.

 One of the 14 victims discovered.

Blocks B,C and D were ‘holding’ blocks for prisoners (they were dragged to block A for torture 3 times a day). Their original make up the same as block A, but crude make shift cells were created internally. Approximately a metre wide and 6ft long there was no bed. These people were kept like animals.

Block B has been left exactly as it was discovered. There is still blood on the floor and walls.

 Block C ...the external barbed wire installed to prevent prisoners committing suicide.

   

 Make shift cells within block B & C, they existed starving on the floor in their own waste.

There are signs outside the building requesting no smiling. An emotion far from anyone’s thoughts, it was the most silent public place I’ve ever stood.

Once interrogation was complete and confessions signed surviving prisoners were transferred blind folded and shackled to the killing fields. They were told to be silent at all times and led to believe they were moving to different accommodation… they were cruelly given a glimmer of hope. Instead they were lined up at a pre-dug mass grave (up to 5metres deep), their throats slit with a sugar cane palm (to silence their screams), their skull fractured with blunt instruments, (they didn’t use bullets as they were expensive) and disemboweled to prevent expansion/disturbance of the grave from bloating. The grave then scattered with toxic chemicals to extinguish the final chance for any unlikely survivor.

The largest of the mass graves discovered....450 victims.

Lake where graves of mass victims still lie beneath....
it was heartbreakingly peaceful and silent here.

A central monument stands in the grounds which houses the clothes, bones and skulls of victims. Everything is very respectful towards the victims, but equally still very tough viewing.

Up to 300 a day were slaughtered in this way. 20,000 bodies are known to be at this particular site alone. Exhumation of around 80% has been completed. A positive attempt to identify many of the victims being achieved to at least give families answers and closure.

This is one of the darkest and heaviest days I’ve ever known. The agony, cruelty, sadness and hopelessness seeps out of the walls floors and ceilings, its everywhere you look. Nothing can prepare you, you might as well reach right in an rip your own heart out, its devastating to see. It’s impossible for me to imagine these peoples suffering and the actions of this paranoid and insecure ‘psychopathic army’ are incomprehensible. It discredits what these places stand for to not tell the story as it is. It would de disrespectful to soften or attempt to lighten with joviality. The Khmer people want the atrocities of their war to be exposed...this is my small contribution.

The history of any war always seems to lead back to mentally impaired, unstable, obsessive, sociopathic, insecure leadership….how did this ever happen? …but worse still, continue to happen? …inevitavbly it is still happening now, but it’ll be years before its discovered. I only hope we and our future generations never have to bear such unimaginable cruelty and loss.

The final bitter twist for me is knowing that the UK had involvement in training the Khmer Rouge army...a sickening final blow to a devastating story and a moment in which I honestly feel ashamed to be British.

I’m sorry this is such a dark blog, however you cannot visit Cambodia and not visit these sites, It’s truly the essence of the country.

My time in Phnom Penh is now coming to a close and I have to say I’m not enamoured with the Capital. It does not represent the country fairly and is an opulent egotistical facade for the real poverty that sits in its shadows.

As the sun sets a final time in Cambodia for me I’m sitting eating a chocolate brownie on a bench by a busy street watching the hustle and bustle of this crazy world go by (I always do this when I’m leaving a town or country, just soak up the atmosphere, sights and smells to remember it). A middle aged smartly dressed couple on a motorcycle slow down and she gestures to me…”is that nice?” I smile and give the OK hand gesture…you know, being polite. They pull to a halt abruptly and she gets off the bike and comes and sits directly next to me...just a bit too close for my liking. This immediately triggered my “weired behaviour radar”. I check by bag strap is fastened wondering cautiously where this is heading? He’s still sitting on the bike with the engine running and whilst continuing to eat my brownie I’m consciously not taking my eyes off either of them. She asks where I’m from, who I’m with and how long I’m here. I casually tell her “my friend has gone to fetch another brownie …they are so good and then we’re heading for the airport”. She looks over to where my 'imaginary' friend should be coming….I reinforce “oh she’s coming, she just takes her time at everything!” (I have no idea what made me say this, but I knew I was more vulnerable if she thought I was alone). The woman stood up gestures to the man, mounts the bike and they roar off…no farewell or even a glance back. I have no idea what the intentions were here but I know for certain they weren’t good…and this sums up Cambodia up for me. Its charming, has incredible history and culture, it completely lures you in…but for me I always felt uneasy and just never felt safe.

13^th March Changing Topic and direction….

I have had a unpleasant reaction to the Malaria medication and as a result have had to stop taking them. My intentions were to head to the south coast beaches of Cambodia then onto the country of Laos (which I was really looking forward to) however these are both higher risk for malaria and therefore I’ve had to reconsider my options (fully exploiting the advantage of not having booked ahead!). I am now going completely off piste…into a country I haven’t researched or intended to go (but has low malaria risk and better medical facilities) ….I landed in Kuala Lumpur. MALAYSIA this morning and I think I’m in love …..can’t believe I nearly missed this place…..sooo excited!!!

 I'm heading off on the KL monorail to discover the delight of this exciting new city!!!

See you soon with a happier and brighter update 😀 xxx